The Break-up

I love music, and I love writing, but I've decided I can't love them both at the same time.

I remember in school I had friends that could write seriously with crazy pop songs streaming through their subconcious. Not so in my case *sigh*. I have to write in complete silence, because I think classical is annoying. How can I write a thrilling account of a chase while listening to Bambi music? How can I give the details of a mother-daughter reconcilliation while listening to waves crashing and tempests rising or people hunting foxes on horses? It's like a terribly confusing soundtrack rolling through my mind. And yes, that is the essence of instrumental for me: the background music. Or the on-hold music, or the music in an elevator. The music is the vehicle for the words. My husband would argue the words simply add to the music. We're chasing the foxes again, and I'm listening to music, so you see how this goes for me.

The point is, I'm supposed to be writing...so, "No, music, not today. You're going to have to be satisfied with a couple of dates over the weekend. Writing is my real relationship right now. Sorry."

I hate break-ups.

Amazing

If there's one thing I've learned about people, it's that they are consistently amazing. Seriously. I don't care if it's the librarian who looks like she drank a bottle of lemon juice with her breakfast, she is amazing...if you get to know her. She may not have a personality you totally adore, but she has some qualities, or she has had some experience, or she has some habits that would floor you. It's true.

As far as character development, this has to impact me in some way. I can't write about the good girl character who always did thus-and-such and maintains the same course until she dies on her starched sheets at a ripe old age. There has to be something deeper than that -- something that twists my preconceptions, at least by the middle of the book. There has to be something that challenges me to think differently, something disconcerting or striking or brilliant about her that I wouldn't have known unless I'd gotten to know her as a reader. Otherwise, I'm not representing true life, and the people that we encounter every direction we turn. Because every one of them would amaze us, if we got to know them...

Probably more about this later. I'm not committing to anything today:)

Yay!

I sent off my ms today. This is good, because the decision is no longer wandering around aimlessly in the back of my mind. I am freaking out about it to a degree, but I will not let that overwhelm me. I think I'll just keep repeating that over and over...and over...

the sequel

I started the sequel to my first novel today; well, I started writing the actual ms today. I already have a running outline in my head and partially on paper -- a little complex (big surprise) -- but exciting for me. Much better than writing the synopsis, put it that way. I'm a little overwhelmed, like I was beginning the first one, but I know that will pass, and I'm trying to push all thoughts of a deadline out of my mind. I'm feeling energized, more than anything, making up another story, and I want to take my time. What could be more fun?

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my protagonist, and how she would have changed since we last saw her. I'm also thinking thematically about what I want to say in this one. The last one was easy -- she was still pliable and uncommitted. Now she has been molded and has made some decisions that have to play out in the future. I have to work within the framework of her character more this time, since much of it has already been developed, and bring her to some understanding within the environment I have established. I also have a few loose ends to attend to from last time, and those have given me a sense of reassurance. I definitely know where to begin, which is always good.

This is probably why I...

...have to write
...love running
...want everyone to get along
...have high expectations...
...admire artists
...like the game "Taboo," and others like it
...am drawn to teachers

Take the test and let me know how it turns out for you! Hey, it's part of that whole ENFJ thing, I can't help it!

No boring story

Well, the binge of procrastination is finally over. I started getting a little sick of the feeling and so I decided to do the synopsis thing, which was actually rewarding not so bad bearable. I have to admit, Camy Tang's synopsis series from Writer...Interrupted (ping) kept me from suffocating to death under all the restrictions of a task like this. Can you tell how much I love parameters?

So, I'm steadily droning away on this project, and at the same time I'm thinking about the possibilities ahead and it strikes me like it has over and over again the past year how I would've never planned this in a million years. I mean, sure I love to write -- it's like second nature, really and I would be insane unless I did it -- but I would've never seen the point in writing a whole novel. It's just been too enjoyable to be something I would consider a goal. And then I think about the Lord, and about all the people out there that think what He has for us to do is boring and predictable (like writing the synopsis has been for me because I already know the whole story) and how His plan is much, much, more creative and inspiring and suspenseful and addictive than anything we have even seen on the shelves. That's the big deception, isn't it, the blue sky and clouds view of heaven and the straight-laced, boring view of a Christian's life on earth. No, I would've never expected Him to do this in my life in this season, , and it's opened up my mind to who He really is in amazing ways. And, like any successful writer, His outline of my story is already completed to the final chapter, and I can tell you one thing: it will not be a boring story.

That's a great thought to finish with as I close this window and open back up the wildly exciting synopsis...

Grumpy Smurf

Remember this guy? No matter what anysmurf said, Grumpy followed it with "I HATE ___." Yeah Grumpy, my sentiments exactly regarding this synopsis thing...

How can I hate writing something this much? Every time I think about it, I refuse to. For example: I really ought to...what's on Shannah's blog? I really should begin...it's about lunchtime. I really, really need to...weren't there some towels that needed folding? That's right folks, I'm stooping to towels, for crying out loud!

I just never anticipated this kind of resistance to something so simple. And therein is the problem, methinks. I like the lax boundaries of writing fiction, and I don't care for the no-nonsense, simplistic, minimalist, streamlined parameters of a summary. A let me regurgitate what I just wrote minus all the fun summary. And a selling-myself-and-my-story summary, at that. Did I mention that I'm not a salesperson? "I HATE selling my story." Sigh.

I really should get to that...wonder if the mail has come yet.

Shoutlife is mo betta

Everybody is reading the Shoutlife stuff, so this blog is getting to be pointless.

I miss the comments I used to get here, *sniff* and I still get them over there, so...

I'm going to take a break from this blog until fallish time. When people are stuck indoors and have to pay more attention to the blogging world for entertainment. It's just too darn beautiful outside right now.

Predicting the unexpected

This Thursday thing is becoming a running theme, although I didn't really intend it. I love Thursday's--probably my favorite day of the week. I like anticipation, and that's what Thursday is. Besides, Survivor comes on Thursday's, which I considered my favorite show up until a month ago. Now, Lost is becoming a contender and will probably take the lead.

What I love about Lost is the constant fluctuation in plot structure, even in protagonist. You never know what you'll get when you sit down to an episode--which I'm sure annoys some people. That's what I'm curious about: is complete abandonment of the predictable in favor of the inconceivable something that the viewer appreciates? Or is this simply irritating? Does the viewer want to be able to follow his own reason as to how the story will end? Is level of mystery surrounding the plot an element that needs to be controlled?

Personally, I am consistently impressed by the writers of Lost. I think the twists are what bring me back week after week. But I have heard others criticize the show as too "far out." By that expression, I wonder if they are saying they'd like a firmer grip on the probable outcome(s). I think there must be two types of viewers. a)The viewer who craves the unpredictable and the unexpected b)The viewer who would like to predict the unexpected or expect the unpredictable, to an extent at least. How else would shows like Dawson's Creek have survived?

Which, of course, leads me to think there must be two types of readers. If you get me here, and have a thought, please share. I really am wondering.

Frustrations

So I've decided I love all my characters. I want to write a book about each of them, but I can't, so I think I'm writing all those books into one, and that is why this is taking so long. I used to think movies chopped too much of the important stuff. Now I think books do, too. People are so complex, and characters have to be no less. It's hard to funnel it all into a few thousand words.

So, I knew there would be a sequel from the beginning, and it's funny, because I wasn't sure my plot was thick enough. Well, this baby could plug a radiator better than McGyver. Remember him? Anyway, now I think it's getting to be just plain confusing, but I don't want to trim any of it off. The funnelling thing again. Frustrating, isn't it?

And my fingers are programmed to do i before e. They don't know the "except after c rule." That's frustrating too.

I need to put a mood chart up here. My roommates and I had one on the refrigerator through the duration of our stay together. It was helpful to know who to ignore and who to cheer up and who to ask for money. J/k

Mood of the day: frustrated;( I wish Blogger would supply me with faces that weren't sideways. ARGH!

milemarkers

So I've decided to start a blog about my journey writing the novel--it's really setting in that I have far to go. If you read my devotional blog, Thursday's Child, I'll just tell you now that this is not going to be like that. If you are interested in devotional thoughts, this is going to bore you. If you're interested in discussing critiquing, publishing, and some literary theory, then maybe you'll get something out of this with me.

The general process is getting kind of overwhelming, and I think it would be good to get some feedback about the things I'm experiencing from someone else. Writing in a household of four kids is not easy, especially since I cannot write at night. I think I am too drained, or whatever. I have little creativity (unless I'm wide awake from caffeine, in which case the morning that follows is never good). I started with an outline, which has evolved somewhat, and now I feel more unsure of what I am doing here. On the other hand, I think what I have is more involved and riskier, which could equal more exciting, but I don't know.

I'm also trying to figure out where to go from here. I'm "almost done" with the first draft, and I really miss the environmental editing of college writing courses. Professors are ideal editors: you know their motives and credentials. An awesome friend of mine is serving as a kind of "pre-editor" simply because she is interested in my novel, and wanted to read it. This has been great for me, but I wish I knew someone professionally and personally in this line of work.

Thoughts? Arguments? Sympathy:)?

More later...